I Wanna Be A Writer When I Grow Up

True story.  When I was in the fifth grade, there was a shortage of teachers at our little country school in Southern Idaho.  So, some of the students were bused into town.  I  had the opportunity of being one of those students.  Wahoo!  I loved that experience — especially winning all of the marbles from unsuspecting boys.

One class assignment was to create a newspaper.  I loved writing articles for it.  I think that was where I formalized my desire to be a writer when I grew up.

The next school year there were enough teachers so back I went to the country school.  I fretted over whether or not my sixth grade teacher would be ‘with it’ (like my fifth grade teacher was) to have us write a newspaper.  What could I do?  What could I do?

All during the month of August, I sought solace and privacy in our windbreak behind our house.  I spent hours formulating the educational benefits of writing a class newspaper.  I practiced a speech that I would give to the teacher on the first day of class to persuade her to my way of thinking.

I was a nervous wreck on the first day of school.  What if the teacher didn’t agree with my logic and reasoning? (Even people today — like my husband — don’t see eye-to-eye with my reasoning.  Sigh.)  I might have to drop out of school and hit the road to become a hobo.  Imagine the delight (and relief) that flooded my body when she announced that we would have a class newspaper!  I was saved from a shiftless life on the road.  (All that practicing and worrying for nothing . . .)

I have written (and even had published) one or two things through the years.  But no Great American Novel.  Then, I learned that November is NaNoWriMo month (writing a novel in one month).  My highly talented and creative niece participated and wrote a novel last year.  What an inspiration to me.

I’ve decided to participate next year.  It’s on my bucket list.  But, I want to do lots of homework before hand so that I will be prepared.  Like come up with an idea for a plot so that after the stroke of midnight on Oct. 31 I can start full steam ahead with my writing.

I’ve come up with four titles and plot synopsis.  Can’t decide which one to use.  Please help me by leaving a comment and voting for your favorite one.  The title with the most votes will be the one I write next year.  My success as a writer lays lies is in your hands.

Title: 101 Ways to Boil Water
Plot synopsis:  Pushed to the abyss of a mental break down, Ima Childs, Julia’s jealous little sister connives to undercut Julia’s fame and success by stealing all of Julia’s recipes for Julia’s upcoming new recipe book.

Title:  I Don’t Care Who Moved My Cheese
Plot synopsis:  This is a hilarious, slapstick comedy of Remy (from the Ratatouille fame) returning to his home in the French countryside to find his country cousin, L’ Ratso, hellbent on becoming a jazz singer in a McDonald’s restaurant in New York.  Good poolside reading for the summer.

Title:  Patience with Patients
Plot synopsis: This torrid love affair between a twenty-year-old candy striper and a ninety-four year old nursing home resident chronicles their escape from the nursing home to finding an apartment in government subsidized housing that is wheelchair accessible.  (Warning: lots of adult content — heated discussions about insurance and agonizing decisions over which multi-vitamin is the best.)

Title:  How Do I Dial M For Murder on My Cell Phone
Synopsis:  Undercover agent, May B. Good, seeks to find a cereal killer hiding behind the frosted flakes of corn before he (or she) murders May.  This is a heart pounding tale of intrigue, suspense, and hair-raising adventure as May dodges a food fight at the food sample tables in the Macey’s grocery store and wild, out of control shopping cart rides in the parking lot.

Title:  Pour Boyz on Tour
Synopsis:  A wildly popular yodeler returns home from his one-day world tour only to find his wife has sold his favorite chicken to Colonel Saunders.  In despair, he turns to playing Go Fish with a five-year-old neighbor and takes up drinking lime flavored Kool-Aid.

So, there you have it.  My novel ideas.

The other day Spencer, my grandson, told me that if I wanted to be a writer when I grew up I’d better get on the stick or he would be grown up before me.  Smart aleck little kid.

So, which idea should be the one that I use next year for NaNoWriMo?  Cast your vote now.