Today, I had a scary Halloween experience. I went into a craft store . . .
Crafting is not a word that I would apply to myself — unless I used it with a prefix like ‘non’ or ‘un’. (Or with phrases like ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ or ‘no way Jose!’) However, I had a little project in mind that I needed to find one craft item. ONE mind you. One. So, I gird up my loins, took a deep breath, and went to Michaels Art and Craft Store where creativity happens.
I asked a clerk where to find the item. She led me up one isle, down another, over three, and around the corner to the product she had in mind. It wasn’t what I needed. The clerk went on her merry way.
Left to my own devices to find my way out of the the store, I tried to retrace my steps. Was it down two isles? Or up one? Did I need to go over two more isles and then around three corners?
I shuffled past the scrapbooking paper, the buttons, the bows, the vinyl lettering, and the stickers. I heard the siren call of the Circe Cricut machine. “Come to me, my little precious,” she whispered with her sultry voice. “Buy me! Buy me!” I tarried not.
With great effort, I stumbled onward. Past the specialty scissors, the glitter pens, the embossing stamps. Past the beads, jewelry crimping tools, and the unbeatable selection of fashionable pendants.
My heart started to palpitate. My palms sweated. I broke out in hives. My eyes started to glaze over. I couldn’t breath. I felt like Donkey kicked me in my chest before Shrek plunked down on top of me.
“Gotta keep going,” I repeated over and over to myself.
Past the 60% off Halloween decorations, past the grateful Thanksgiving ones, and past the perky red and white Christmas ones.
Somehow, I made it out of the store. Barely alive.
I hurried home, clutched my laptop, and sat on the couch. The warmth from my laptop spread throughout my body. The 2.5 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo processor thrummed lovingly in my ear. My vision cleared. My hives dissipated. Slowly, my breathing and heart rate returned to normal.
I had survived. I think I will go eat all of the Trick or Treating candy.
LOL. It’s the strangest thing about the Cricut. I want one too, even though I never do those crafts. How does it do that?
Wait, wait, wait. What was the item?
You write so well Aunt Nina, crack me up with your experience at Michaels, I feel the same way at office max trying to figure out which cds I need. Ahhhhh
Julianne, I’m not sure how those little Cricut cast their devilish spells. It sure takes a lot of will power to resist them.
Makayla, it was called padding compound. Ever heard of it? No? Me neither. I discovered Elmer’s glue does the same job. Shoulda tried that out before I went to the craft store . . .
Lara, HOW CAN YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY AT OFFICE MAX??? That’s a MUCH better place to shop instead of craft stores. And, thank you about your kind words about my writing. You’re just being nice because you are related to me and you are so polite to your weird, off-the-wall relatives like me . . .
Cricut? What is it? Do I have to have one? Aaaargh….the siren call!
Elmer’s glue does wonders!
p.s. Isn’t sewing crafty?
Andrea, yes, yes, yes, you have to have a Cricut! Maybe you, Julianne, and I could split the cost. And let Julianne keep it at her house and then we’d have to go there to visit her all the time.
Sewing crafty? Not the way I do it . . .